woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
