Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
