Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
