I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
