I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Randomize
