I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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