someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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