No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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