I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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