I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
