I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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