I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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