Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
