I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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