He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
