I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
