I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
