I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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