It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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