So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
