can u get pink eye on your cock?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
