yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need to calm my uterus...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
