ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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