We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
