I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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