i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All the doctor said was why
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
