I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize