Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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