I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
