So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
