Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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