The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
