I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
