With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
