Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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