I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
