i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
