i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
