That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
