Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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