why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
