your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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