I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
