THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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