The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
