She's JV to your varsity
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
