you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
