So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
