There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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