I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
