and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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