she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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