Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
