Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
