So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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