Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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