I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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