mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
