his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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