Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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