and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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